The Hardest YES is Sometimes a NO

Today, I said no. But baby, in that NO… I was saying the sweetest, strongest, most loving YES to myself.

I had an important meeting on my calendar. One of those meetings where you have no choice but to show up and show out. In the past, I would have shown up half-present just to prove I was dependable and at the expense of my own well-being.

It was already one of those weeks that sits on your shoulders and doesn’t let up. I left for my trip late. Got hit with traffic delays, blocked by a train, and saw a car fire. And on top of that, I had a severe headache.

By the time I finally arrived, I barely had time to breathe, let alone get cute and accessorize. I looked at the clock then at my suitcase, and finally in the mirror. And said, "Girl… for what?!" And I paused.

Now the old me? She would’ve pushed through, changed clothes, fixed her hair, and walked out the door in cute heels smelling divine. She would have dismissed her body signals, arrived at the meeting, and smiled through the discomfort showing up unavailable and not fully present. After all, that’s what we’re taught to do, right? Be strong. Be reliable. Be everywhere, for everybody.

Oh honey, I’m in a different era now. I’m not in a rushing season anymore. I’m in an era of Intentionality and Preservation.
I have intentionally said NO more times over the last year and a half than I have my entire 45 years of life.

Making the decision didn’t come easy, but intentionality and preservation requires me to choose differently.

My mind bounced back and forth with guilt, questioning myself, and wondering what if. My body was already clear. She said Not today. I have experience in not listening to my body and let’s just say she does not like to be ignored. She will shut all the way down.

So I listened.

And you know what? I’m proud of that choice. I am celebrating myself by resting, reading, and reflecting. Years ago, I wouldn’t have. I would’ve ignored every signal my body sent me. I would have shown up empty, left drained and called it success.

But today, I chose to honor my own capacity.

That is self-preservation. That is healing. That is the hardest and most beautiful kind of YES.

So if you’re reading this and you’re sitting in that same kind of internal battle, here’s reassurance wrapped in love:

You don’t have to prove yourself by pushing past your limits.
You don’t have to rush for anything that costs you your well-being.
You don’t have to explain a decision that protects your wholeness.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is say YES to YOU!